we have had this rabbit around our house for about 6 months now. It first Showed up around the end of summer and was eating my mom's flowers and makeing spots in our lawn. My mom finally got fed up with the thing so she told me i could shoot it with our bb gun. I went and got the gun and shot it. The rabbit jumped extremelly high and flailed. It was one of the more funny things i have ever seen but it landed and ran off. a few days later i saw it again and shot it again and it did the same thing but instead of running away it stayed put. i shot it again. Now it ran away. i ended up shooting the rabbit about five or 6 more times the next two weeks. the thing finally disapeard and did not show its self again untill mid december when we got that huge snow storm. we were hopeing it would starve not haveing anyfood around for it to eat. Two days ago we noticed that it had burried into a snow pile in our back yard. my dad decided to make a trap for it and it work but he could not get the rabbit to stay in it. So I modified the trap so it would lock shut and it worked. My mom and dad are now taking it down by the red rocks to let it loose. It will most likely become coyote food.
have fun watching your movie bryan
1 comment:
That's the funniest thing I've read all day!!!
Considering I've been reading Finance and Apollo program stuff all day, that's not saying much... but it's pretty funny for even a good day.
I is always capitalized. Names are always capitalized. Brandon, Justin, and Greg are always capitalized.
Good flow with the story. You started at the beginning, and stepped us through the logical progressions.
Good sentence structure. Each sentence communicated the complete thought that was intended.
Except: "... things I have ever seen but it landed and ran off." There is no logical connection between it being one of the funniest things you have ever seen, and it running off. Those need to be two sentences, or you need to combine them differently. For example: "I laughed at the sight as it ran off." To communicate the same thought, you would append "and then it ran off." at the end of the previous sentence (...flailed, and then it ran off). Then you would have the single thought expressing "It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen."
The rest of your sentences are great.
It would be good to split this into two paragraphs (although, one paragraph could be justified). Paragraph 1) The intro and first series of shootings. 2) The concluding episode with the trap. Paragraph 2 would start with "Two days ago we noticed..."
Pretty good story. Good for a laugh. Just make sure this gets erase before you run for political office:)
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